Goodbye, My Lover
by Elisabeth Sobihan
Summary: SLASH... Remus grieves, Harry cares.


_**Disclaimer**: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. All original characters, plot lines, places created by _**Elisabeth Sobihan **_belong to _**Elisabeth Sobihan** _and are not to be used with permission. The song _**Goodbye, My Lover** _is owned by James Blunt and all those associated with him. No money is being mage and no copyright infringement is intended._

_**Author's Notes**: I decided to go through my cds today and I sorted them by why I bought. James Blunt was an impulse buy and the only reason I bought it was because of the song, _**You're Beautiful**_. I listened to all of the songs today, and James Blunt amazes me. This is in Harry's POV, by the way._

_**Warning(s)**: character death, insinuation of self-mutilation, insinuation of self-stravation_

**Goodbye, My Lover**

_by Elisabeth Sobihan_

_Did I disappoint you or let you down?_

_Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?_

_'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,_

_Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won._

**HE** was really a horrible mess after the night at the Ministry. I've never seen anyone that completely depressed. Of course, I had been heartbroken when Sirius had passed on. He was my once chance at freedom. Away from the Dursleys, living on our own together. Just two bachelors enjoying their prime years. But Remus was completely different. He shut himself away from everyone, only to be seen walking around the grounds of Grimmauld Place at night. I've watched him closely, his body becoming rail-thin. The scars on his body have become re-opened wounds. The gray in his hair more apparent. I worry about his sanity. I feel that he's slowly loosing to some greater demon.

_So I took what's mine by eternal right._

_Took your soul out into the night._

_It may be over but it won't stop there,_

_I am here for you if you'd only care._

I laid with him tonight. I held his fragile body against mine as he sobbed uncontrollibly. He cried away all of his pain, his frustrations, his fear. He looked at me with watery amber eyes. I remember a large scar across his face. I remember the way he placed a slender hand on my face, caressing my cheek. He smiled weakly at me. He told me I was my father in every right, but he could feel my mother as he held my gaze. I was startled when his lips brushed against mine. He smiled and kissed me again, a little more forceful this time.

_You touched my heart,you touched my soul._

_You changed my life and all my goals._

_And love is blind and that I knew when,_

_My heart was blinded by you._

He pushed himself on top of me. I wasn't sure if I should have let this happen. He seemed so happy. He touched me gingerly at first, unbuttoning my crisp white shirt, his long fingers working deftly on my belt and the zipper of my pants. He began to place kisses all over my body. Slowly his minstrations move from gentle to something more forceful. He paws at my body, nails digging into my flesh. He roughly pulled my trousers off me, after which he pulled off his own baggy t-shirt. He whispers "_Mine…_" into my ear and bites my neck. He's marking me, taking me into his pack. I don't understand this, but warm smile is splayed across my face. He grabs my wrists and holds them down on the worn mattress. He eyes are more wolf-like now, glowing slightly.

_I've kissed your lips and held your hand._

_Shared your dreams and shared your bed._

_I know you well, I know your smell._

_I've been addicted to you._

There is no preparation. He takes me swiftly, tears stream from my eyes but I refuse to cry out. He holds me close as he rocks back and forth. He whispers sweetly into my ear the most wicked things he plans to do to me. It is comforting in a way, but it frightens me. I walked willingly into this trap. I have no idea if Remus had planned this or it hit him suddenly. He arched against my body, a sweet warmth filling me. He pushed himself off of me and lay panting, desperate for oxygen. I feel sullied. I suddenly regret not fighting back. But this is Remus, he was sad and I was there.

_I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow._

_I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow._

_I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow._

_I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow._

I awake the next morning, cold and alone. I feel even more used now then I had last night. I roll to my left slightly and find the bed slightly warm. Remus had stayed with me that night. He healed me but I still feel sore. I could hear the slight drip-drop ofa filled tub and I slide from the bed and head towards the bathroom. From a crack in the door I see Remus chesnut brown hair, damp from the bath water. I push the door open and am shocked. Remus sat motionless in a tub full of diluted blood. His arm hung limply over the side, the wrist slit vertically, a line of blood on the floor. The knife he had enchanted still hung precariously in the air, looking to strike. He had charmed the blade to slit his neck. He died was a saccharrine smile plastered on his face. I stood at the door and weeped silently. I stood there naked as a jay-bird when Kingsley pulled me from the room. I felt numb. Gloriously numb.

_Goodbye my lover._

_Goodbye my friend._

_You have been the one._

_You have been the one for me._


End file.
